I heard you ring, come in my friend!
I was watching TV news,
The price of gold, the rioting,
and politicians' views. 

There's been another murder,
a plane crash, an earthquake, too.
Come in and watch this rocket launch,
It's been long since I've seen you. 

Sit down old friend. I'm glad you're here.
I've long wanted to say
That you have a fault, a problem with
Animals that neigh. 

You're always occupied at home,
Messin' 'round the pen.
There's more to life, you know old friend,
Than horses and horsemen. 

You're backward lookin', slow to change.
It explains, to say the least,
Your attachment to this expensive
and quite archaic beast 

You're always broke, you spend your dough
On fence and stall and gate.
Get with it, pal, and realize
It’s nineteen eighty eight.

Why can’t you accept reality?
The equine's day is done,
Okay, except for racing
To provide a little fun. 

You're cleaning pens and mending stuff
While others golf and sail.
You're always nursing injuries
You've suffered on the trail. 

Your conservatism seems stubborn to
Us folks who look ahead
To century twenty one, a time
Of technology, it’s said. 

You love things old, and history
And tack made just by hand.
Pictures decorate your home
Of horses famed and grand. 

Nostalgic and romantic scenes
Appeal to your imagination.
The smell of horse and barn and tack
Preferred to urbanization. 

We're in the age of computers, sir;
Horses have no place.
Though I admit they were useful
and helped the human race. 

Born a hundred years too late,
You're obsolete, of course.
Hey! Never mind that rocket launch
Let’s go out and see my horse.